the club

this morning jess toured the club only 1 mile from our house, not really thinking i'd ever belong to a country club i figured he would come back unconvinced that we needed to join...however by 2:00 I was headed all clad in workout gear to try out the gym....i tried to hide the nervous energy as i entered the exclusive club...but after exhausting my proper etiquette in the parking lot trying to find a spot that wasn't marked tennis only....i figured it was better just to realize i didn't have a clue what i was walking in to...to my surprise the girls behind the desks were helpful and even kind...pleasant and knowledgeable...she didn't even flinch when she noticed four rugrats tacked on my membership...she just politely asked if any of my kids were over 12.....man the wrinkles are getting too deep......anyways i found my way to a suitable locker outside by the pool...being that the indoor lockers all had gold name plackets on them....all in due time i told myself.... knowing i could care less if there were no lockers to use at all....i was just trying to soak in the incredible feeling of having such a magnificent opportunity to workout at the club...the cardio room was up slate looking stairs...which brought the outside rugged decor simply inside....now the giant individual tvs attached to the elliptical machines i noticed right away....but it wasn't until 12 minutes into my workout that i noticed the miniature ac on the machine as well....pumping out a nice cool breeze....my sis told me about these machines in Texas but i've never used one...it was pretty much the best piece of workout equipment i've ever used.... and the view overlooking the mountains, trees, and tennis courts evoked a serene yet restless energy needed to accomplish a workout on 5 hours of sleep....i could definitely get used to this....now operating the tv was a whole new ballgame...it takes skill that clearly i don't have....so it went a little something like this...grabbing my sweat towel i sent my i pod tumbling to the floor and under the woman next to me using a pretty fab stair climber and with each down movement of her right leg it appeared as if my tiny fuchsia pod was going to be smashed into oblivian....umm...embarrassed and irritated I didn't want to disturb the in a trance stranger so I switched to the tv...now i couldn't figure out how to change the channel and the current viewing for my pleasure was a show titled the girls next door.....now how is that show not cancelled...it takes place in the you know what mansion and apparently some barely dressed well figured bleachy blond was throwing a party for her dog....yes a 1 year old party for a dog....???? my last two kids were lucky to get a 1 year old party...i kept thinking who can watch this...but i'm that rare person who did not enjoy desperate housewives so who am i to judge......wow who even has the time for something so frivolous?....everyone ate out of pink heart shaped dog bowls, monogram included, ate dog cake and dog pizza....such bad chemistry between the realitists i couldn't even laugh at it....my brain cells actually started to liquefy ....now not one to focus on my own intellectuals...i still wanted to preserve what was available upstairs.... i pushed every button on that machine until the channel changed...beep beep beep beep ah finally it changed to beach volleyball at the olympics....well not quite my thing......beep beep beep disney channel....wow now that is television....i realized i could get my study time in... the disney games were picking new teams for the next challenge and now i could carry on a conversation with my 8 yr old this evening.....selena joe nick kyle jason....all there and were all participating and i was in the know.....after the red team was chosen and the trainer read 35:20 I decided i had the cliffs notes.....on the club too....as i exited the facility, with my ipod retrieved, i noticed a certain mermaid encircled in familiar green font under a sign that read "we proudly brew STARBUCKS coffee".....it gave me that sense of belonging in an unfamiliar place....a smile spread across my face as i walked to my car....