chaos killed the dinosaurs

Thank God I'm not built like they were. I'd be seriously in trouble right now. The move feels right just the puzzle pieces are all mixed up I feel like I'm 12 years old again trying to find all the edge pieces so I can begin filling the rest in....it has to get better right? I'm hoping this move all around going to make sense as the edges come together. I saw a mom today at the kids gym with a new baby and I was wondering if I'll ever forget that rush of having a new little person to connect with and try to figure out who they are and what makes them happy. I feel like if we don't try to adopt we are going to be forced to move into a different realm of parenting...one that consists of existing with our kids not doing damage control. Little girls are so different I feel like a first time mom some days with Rae because she just does things the boys would never have done...she's so much fun to have around and it gives me a testosterone break I always knew I needed...she just hung in the garage for hours tonight singing, playing, just wanted to be by my side while I unpacked boxes...ever had a shadow? one that sings the little einsteins theme song? I didn't even realize she knew all those words and how to keep a melody...its amazing what we discover about these little creatures when we least expect it or how much company they bring us when we don't even realize we are lonely...I get why my mom has to surround herself with so many animals now...after raising a big family...how do you ever go back ?